Trainers
Trainer rushed to A&E after genitals brushed with Creosote
Prank-gone-wrong sees trainer rushed to A&E after private parts daubed with fence paint
Horse trainer Alf Archer was hospitalised last night after a case of mistaken identity resulted in his genitals being daubed with creosote.
Instead of relaxing to an episode of Gardener’s World, Archer spent the night at Gravesend General Hospital in the burns treatment unit unable to remove the smoky odour from his underpant region.
But the terrible cock paint ordeal was originally designed as an initiation ceremony for new yard apprentice jockey Dennis Mandella.
Wood Stain
In a terrible prank gone wrong, twenty-five work riders and stable staff were involved in coating who they thought was the stable newbie with the dark brown oil-based timber, shed and fence paint.
Rugby-tackling him to the floor, the practical jokers poured the distinctive sticky tar-like wood preservative over his crotch.
As he entered the tack room to perform his routine evening feed checks, Archer quickly had a bag placed over his head before being tied up with reins and a bridle.
One of the perpetrators, stable boy Gareth Timms, told the Scutter: “It was dark. We had no idea the boss was behind the door, it was a terrible misunderstanding. The new guy Dennis was our target.
“Life in the stable can be brutal for the new lads, a sort of rite of passage.
“My first day, they dunked me head first in the slurry pit and filled my socks with curry powder before setting fire to all my spare clothes.
Bookmaker Pants
But Archer was freed when the staff recognised his distinctive underwear covered in the same bookmakers betting logos that sponsor the yard.
“We only realised it was the boss when we saw his Mugbet Y-fronts – he has to wear them as part of selling his soul to the bookmakers.
“Who knows how far we would have gone if he wasn’t wearing them eh?”
The Mugbet ambassador Archer said: “I’ll tear them limb from limb. None of them will ever work in racing again.”
Read More
Man spends entire lockdown trapped in betting shop
Return to racing: “We’ll tell you 10 minutes before first race”
Losing punter blows up betting shop toilet
‘Betting shop closures a disaster’ says bookmaker who just bought new kitchen
B*stard calls 7 false starts
‘I have magical photo-finish powers’ says liar checking Betfair for 1.01
Bookmaker makes PPE out of Betting Slips
Man scoops jackpot after putting cheese slices into roulette machine
Steward confirms ‘explanation noted’ means ‘f*ck off’
Odds Wanker’s Second Favourites Last – Again
‘Winning money is easy’ says total f*ckin romancer
Betting shop obliterated by CHIMP
Bookmaker arrested for turning dog kennel into betting shop
Bookmaker hid in problem gambler’s shed
Criminal scared of horses sentenced to job as White Flag Man
Grandad who ran over bookmaker with MOBILITY SCOOTER spared jail
Deranged gambler who played ‘punishment roulette’ with bookmaker walks free
-
Betting2 years ago
Man scoops jackpot after putting cheese slices into roulette machine
-
Racing1 year agoSteward confirms ‘explanation noted’ means ‘f*ck off’
-
Odds Wanker1 year agoOdds Wanker’s Second Favourites Last – Again
-
Punters2 years ago
‘Winning money is easy’ says total f*ckin romancer
-
Betting Shops2 years ago
Betting shop obliterated by CHIMP
-
Betting1 year agoBetting blog ‘bullsh*t warnings’ have no effect
-
Betting Shops2 years agoBookmaker refuses to pay man until he draws Bayeux Tapestry
-
Bookmakers1 year agoDeranged gambler who played ‘punishment roulette’ with bookmaker walks free