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Ricky Tibbs

Six Signs you’re in a Toxic Relationship – with your Bookmaker

Ricky Tibbs

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6 Signs You're in a Toxic Relationship with your Bookmaker Ricky Tibbs

Do you go on more romantic dinner dates with your bookie than your wife? Sounds like you could be in a toxic relationship with your bookmaker

Does your bookmaker call you ‘mate’ and pat the ‘special chair’ when you walk into a betting shop? Do they do a “Gregg’s Pastry Run” when they see you?

Are they nice to you on the phone, even AFTER you have given them your login details?

While we can’t make you win, drawing the lines in the sand could start you off on the road to victory.

Here’s our guide to spotting the signs of a toxic bookmaker relationship and turning your situation around. 

People think you’re a Couple

If the relationship has gone beyond giving you £5 betting vouchers and has moved on to candlelit suppers at exclusive London restaurants two or three times per week then things are getting serious.

You may mistake your bookmaker’s friendliness in taking you out to meals and whisking you away on holidays as warm generosity.

While there is nothing wrong with starting a romantic relationship, you may wish to question their motives.

But, just remember exactly who has paid for all this stuff: you did! Remember, when you backed all those even-money shots they told you couldn’t get beat over their in-house TV channel.

Beware Bookmakers Bearing Gifts

“Timeo bookmakeis bastardes et dona ferentes” – IfVirgil wrote his Aeneid (II, 49) today, he would definitely have warned us about bookmakers bearing gifts.

VIP bikini babe yacht parties, Platinum racecourse boxes or a free hamburger with every bet = you’ve lost a lot of cash.

Get as far away as possible and splash yourself down with holy water.

Continuous Respect

‘Mate’, ‘pal’, ‘my darling’ are signs you are your bookmaker’s personal cash machine. Every relationship has its ups and downs, but if your bookmaker smiles when you appear and can’t do enough for you, there might be a problem.

If you don’t want to be a customer who pays your bookmaker’s mortgage or sends bookie kids to private school, recalibrate the relationship. Make a start by calling them names of common vermin, (‘weasel’, ‘rat’, ‘cockroach’) – progress to ‘turd’ after a few weeks.

They call you up ‘for the fun of it’

Feelings are alien to bookmakers, so if you get a telephone call from your VIP account manager ‘just to see if you are alright’, it probably means you haven’t bet with them for 6 hours or so and they need more cash – right now.

Tell them you’re busy, or ‘washing your hair’ for the next fortnight.

Feeling Elated

Toxic relationships can happen to anyone, but if you have a warm, fuzzy feeling about the people who rip you off you’re doing something wrong. Your bookmaker is someone you should want to avoid in the street, not scrub you down in a sauna.

When they ask ‘same time tomorrow?’ after you’ve lost wads of cash, tell them you’d rather eat the contents of your hoover bag – a threat you’re prepared to follow through.

When you get home put their picture on a dartboard.

Always Saying ‘Yes’

A sign your bookmaker thinks you are a total mug is when you can get on any bet you ask for.

Ask friends or other gamblers if they have been knocked back and try to get your money on those selections. They’ll be calling you a c*nt and sweeping you out with the garbage in no time.

Professional Layabout

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