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Tipster furloughs himself

Leonard Collins

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Tipster furloughs himself
Photoshopping pretend wins on hold as tipster puts himself on furlough

Self-employed tipster Gareth Timms said: “COVID-19 means people aren't taking advantage of my awesome offers like risk-free cash, ‘29 / 30 winning months’ or ‘15 million pounds profit for £1 stakes’.

“I've told myself not to do any more work for at least three months: no more photoshopping pretend wins or getting my nan to proof my selections while I'm on furlough.’

"No more flogging prediction software that will guarantee winners - it's the government's job retention scheme for me."

Punter Tarquin Bibby said: “Ditching Gareth awful tips is bugger all to do with the coronavirus. Maybe we're just sick of him shouting 'gamble landed' when a 1/9 shot he sends out scrapes home.

"Tipster? Never mind furlough, Gareth should consider suing himself under the trade descriptions act.

Bookmaker Dik Venom said: “Gareth’s a godsend: we’ve agreed to give him 100% salary, statutory sick pay and, as a bonus, made sure he gets tax payer cash on top.”

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