Prank-gone-wrong sees trainer rushed to A&E after private parts daubed with fence paint Horse trainer Alf Archer was hospitalised last night after a case of mistaken...
Plan to replace whip with kazoos thwarted as horses lose their sh*t. Horses have scuppered the latest incentive to replace whips with air horn canisters, kazoos...
Punter trapped in Gravesend betting shop after falling asleep on sh*tter. There’s nothing like spending an hour down the betting shop, doing a monkey on Luck...
Bookmaker prime suspect in popping WW2 grenade into feeding trough that blew up stable when horse went for 6pm evening sh*t. There are few horses luckier...
Photoshopping pretend wins on hold as tipster puts himself on furlough Self-employed tipster Gareth Timms said: “COVID-19 means people aren't taking advantage of my awesome offers...
Jockey optimistic of first win since apprenticeship started in 1987. Budding apprentice, Gareth Timms, is optimistic he will ride a winner one day, despite being the...
Owner sobs after taking ‘30-day cool off’ then watches ‘bet of a lifetime’ win by 50 lengths. Sobbing as he watched first time out 2-year old...
Man learns violin and SIX languages in just THREE WEEKS since betting shops closed due to coronavirus lockdown. Gareth Timms has learned a string of Polynesian...
Bookmaker secures planning permission for 15 betting shops on Mars to get alien life forms hooked on FOBTs While Mars may not have any streets yet...
Guillotined on this day in 1794, France's first bookmaker paid the ultimate price for his barbaric treatment of peasants The 21st November 1794 saw France's first...
Awkward b*stard outdoes himself calling 7 false starts in 2-mile hurdle. Racing at Scutter Park wouldn’t be the same without...
Man who told betting shop he won millions on photo finishes with psychic abilities, definitely full of sh*t. Unemployed betting...
Gravesend bookie uses Goliath betting slips to craft snazzy COVID face mask. With face coverings compulsory for England’s shoppers as...
New rules mean only bellends can apply for jobs as stewards. Stewards at Scutter Park are the first racecourse in...
Gravesend betting shop pelted with cow pats then burned to the ground by vegan protestoers after ‘Free hamburger with every bet’ giveaway...
Bookies ban punter stealing betting slips to use as toilet roll substitute Costco Warehouse Operative, Gareth Timms knows a good...
Legendary city of Atlantis housed beautiful racecourse where all favs won, so bookmakers blew it up to make way for...
Failed dope test reveals horse’s addiction to pickled onion-flavoured snacks Trainer Alf Archer has been charged by Scutter Park stewards...
‘DB Cooper cleaned up at Sittingbourne dogs so I pushed him out of plane’, says bookmaker. The 45-year-old mystery of...
Bookmakers need reclassifying as new species after latest research shows layers share 97% of their genetic material with FRILLED LIZARDS....
