Aftertiming TV emailer under the impression we care about his super human rampage winning spree. Gareth Timms frequently emails a racing television program about his super...
Man escapes credit bookmaker by free running building tops disguised in grandmother’s Church costume and wig. After owing a whopping 25 thousand pounds, Bill Hardone gave...
‘So long suckers!’ shouts judge who landed monster bet then fled racecourse in sports car. Judge Maxwell Benson mysteriously took 37 minutes to decide a photo...
Study shows bookmakers are humanoid race composed of liquid mercury and non-terrestrial ‘alien metals’. New research has found that bookmakers are an advanced, extra-terrestrial, humanoid...
With lockdown causing his income to drop, Twitter tipster Gareth Timms now believes he is the dog’s b*llocks on international racing. Timms said: “It’s easy: harness...
Nectar ‘millionaire’ bet with supermarket loyalty points after running out of cash. Gareth Timms blew all his cash betting on Will Rogers Downs and Gulfstream during...
Budgie fuming after owner lines cage with old Racing Post Budgie, Gareth Timms, was fuming after his owner ran out of sandpaper sheets and lined his...
Get in your gardens and clap, bookmakers tell racing industry. As the racing world sinks slowly into oblivion with thousands fearing job losses due to the...
Mugbet kindly donates wheelie bin to punter they made homeless. Punter Gareth Timms, who was made homeless by Mugbet’s endless false favourites, rubbish offers, and rigged...
Community activists launch campaign to help shed-dwelling gambler who downsized 16 times and now lives in abandoned riverside chalet Measures are underway to find better accommodation...
Awkward b*stard outdoes himself calling 7 false starts in 2-mile hurdle. Racing at Scutter Park wouldn’t be the same without...
Man who told betting shop he won millions on photo finishes with psychic abilities, definitely full of sh*t. Unemployed betting...
Gravesend bookie uses Goliath betting slips to craft snazzy COVID face mask. With face coverings compulsory for England’s shoppers as...
New rules mean only bellends can apply for jobs as stewards. Stewards at Scutter Park are the first racecourse in...
Gravesend betting shop pelted with cow pats then burned to the ground by vegan protestoers after ‘Free hamburger with every bet’ giveaway...
Bookies ban punter stealing betting slips to use as toilet roll substitute Costco Warehouse Operative, Gareth Timms knows a good...
Legendary city of Atlantis housed beautiful racecourse where all favs won, so bookmakers blew it up to make way for...
Failed dope test reveals horse’s addiction to pickled onion-flavoured snacks Trainer Alf Archer has been charged by Scutter Park stewards...
‘DB Cooper cleaned up at Sittingbourne dogs so I pushed him out of plane’, says bookmaker. The 45-year-old mystery of...
Bookmakers need reclassifying as new species after latest research shows layers share 97% of their genetic material with FRILLED LIZARDS....
