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Supermarkets to prevent punters from buying groceries

Leonard Collins

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Supermarket teams up with bookmaker to stop winning punters buying fruit & veg.

Mugbet bookmakers and top supermarket 'Scutter Foods' have formed a partnership to stop winning punters spending any winnings in their stores.

Anyone who has won a bet will have a lifetime ban and not be able to buy food, drinks or medication.

Mugbet’s Director of Bookmaking Propaganda, Mrs Clare Simon, said:

“We will starve the f*ckers who take our cash. No fruit or veg, no ready meals; not even a can of Tizer!”

Smarter_way_USA

Described as the ‘final frontier’ in obliterating winners, the deal will employ more than 2,500 new people to operate their new systems and create a global database of ‘bastards’.

Facial Recognition

A £300 million investment in facial recognition infrastructure has been approved by Mugbet to give the supermarkets the ability to recognise winners with AI.

Supermarkets to prevent punters from buying groceries
Winning punters will have their ugly mugs zapped by a laser as they walk through the supermarket door.

While betting shops have distributed images of winning punters taken via their in-house CCTV, a manager or cashier had to spot the person in the flesh, allowing many to ‘slip though the net’.

Keith Vim, Mugbet spokesman said: “Winning punters will have their ugly mugs zapped by a laser as they walk through the supermarket door.”

“Before they’ve even got to the sausage rolls, a security guard will twist their ears, push them about and give them a good duffing up in the toilet.”

“Money well spent.”

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