Breeding
Stallion tells stable tour to “p*ss off”
Stallion wanting some shut eye tells yard tour visitors to ‘piss off’
Leading sire Jimmy Jumpsuit told a guided tour "F*ck off the lot of you. Take your selfie sticks and let me sleep.
“Yeah, us horses get looked after better than any humans – but have you tried shagging all day? It’s bloody hard work mate.
“OK, I get the biggest barn but this is my job, 24-7. I still have to mate with the ugly mares.
“I’m in no mood for chit chat. If you don’t mind...”
Head of Operations at Scutter Farms, Gareth Timms said: “I’m sorry, there’ll be no photos today. Normally, Jimmy loves the attention with adoring fans patting his neck, feeding him mints and taking selfies.
"While he is a super stallion and produces great foals, his massive ego and short temper mean he’s a petulant little shit.
“He might look like butter wouldn’t melt but he can be an arsehole at times. He’s always threatening me with the sack.
“What’s that Jimmy? Swedish massage? Coming right up.”
You Might Like
Spray paint jobs to help fans spot Shergar cup runners
B*stard calls 7 false starts
‘I have magical photo-finish powers’ says liar checking Betfair for 1.01
Bookmaker makes PPE out of Betting Slips
Stewarding job only open to bellends
Vegans pelt betting shop with COW PATS
Man scoops jackpot after putting cheese slices into roulette machine
Steward confirms ‘explanation noted’ means ‘f*ck off’
Odds Wanker’s Second Favourites Last – Again
Betting shop obliterated by CHIMP
‘Winning money is easy’ says total f*ckin romancer
Bookmaker arrested for turning dog kennel into betting shop
Bookmaker hid in problem gambler’s shed
Criminal scared of horses sentenced to job as White Flag Man
Grandad who ran over bookmaker with MOBILITY SCOOTER spared jail
Deranged gambler who played ‘punishment roulette’ with bookmaker walks free
-
Betting1 year ago
Man scoops jackpot after putting cheese slices into roulette machine
-
Racing9 months agoSteward confirms ‘explanation noted’ means ‘f*ck off’
-
Odds Wanker9 months agoOdds Wanker’s Second Favourites Last – Again
-
Betting Shops12 months ago
Betting shop obliterated by CHIMP
-
Punters12 months ago
‘Winning money is easy’ says total f*ckin romancer
-
Betting9 months agoBetting blog ‘bullsh*t warnings’ have no effect
-
Betting Shops11 months agoBookmaker refuses to pay man until he draws Bayeux Tapestry
-
Bookmakers10 months agoDeranged gambler who played ‘punishment roulette’ with bookmaker walks free