Help for Shed-Dwelling Gambler who Downsized 16 times

Downsizing sixteen times, Timms has ended up living in an abandoned riverside chalet.

Community leader Tarquin Bibby said: “Gareth’s downsized 16 times now. He started off in a five bedroom house in Surrey - now he lives in a shed.”

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“Sadly, stories like Gareth’s aren’t unique. We are doing what we can to help him before his shed ends up in a landfill site.”

Washing in the nearby stream, shed-dweller Timms reflects philosophically on his situation:

“Winter is a bit chilly, the wind and rain are bitter, but a life with no bets is bloody depressing.”

Launching a crowdfunding page, the local community have raised £32 to buy him a blanket.

“F*ck that” said Timms. “Just get me a scratch card.”