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PR rep fears ‘bookmaker extinction’ from totally made-up gamble

Desdemona Phelps

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Every bookmaker will be annihilated if well-backed horse wins, says PR representative 

Renowned sh*t chatter Sarah Tonin, Mugbet’s Media Relations Representative, told TV viewers on the channel her firm sponsors:

“I'm not joking - the Jimmy Jumpsuit gamble will wipe every single bookmaker off the face of the earth.”

“He’s the most well-backed horse I've ever seen in seven months of doing this job – DEFINITELY the one everyone wants to be on."

"I'm not exaggerating when I say he'll cost us 50 million pounds, but if I was being cautious I'd say by the off it could be £6 billion."

Winless

"While 5 year old gelding Jimmy Jumpsuit has never won a race, and has never placed in 134 starts, don't let that put you off - today's the day! Honest."

“We will be totally jobless if this wins – every one of us down the food bank. Penniless. Not a pot to piss in, But don’t let that stop you from taking advantage of our incredible odds.

"Get on now while there’s still time.”

“Bookmakers are wondering what I’m doing telling you all about this amazing gamble.

"They’re terrified of this massive punt, and hiding under their desks fearing Armageddon – probably.”

Bookmakers are hiding under their desks fearing Armageddon

“Bookmakers are hiding under their desks fearing Armageddon – probably”

"I urge you to get on your phones and back him now…before it’s too late.”

Last

Struggling as the gates opened, Jimmy Jumpsuit tailed off last.

“This gamble could have been like the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs (us).

“But it didn’t.”

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