Punter smashes home up with sledge hammer after just four races The defeat of French ‘good things’ has made recreational gambler Gareth Timms trash his kitchen,...
Pundits’ brains zapped with electricity to talk b*llocks all day New research shows that pundits’ brains are actually blasted with hundreds of millions of volts in...
Bookmaker prime suspect in popping WW2 grenade into feeding trough that blew up stable when horse went for 6pm evening sh*t. There are few horses luckier...
Stallion wanting some shut eye tells yard tour visitors to ‘piss off’ Leading sire Jimmy Jumpsuit told a guided tour "F*ck off the lot of...
Photoshopping pretend wins on hold as tipster puts himself on furlough Self-employed tipster Gareth Timms said: “COVID-19 means people aren't taking advantage of my awesome offers...
Interviewer gobsmacked as trainer dodges 114 questions then slips up over 'what did you have for breakfast?' Trainer Alf Archer, who normally flinches at the sight...
Study shows bookmakers are humanoid race composed of liquid mercury and non-terrestrial ‘alien metals’. New research has found that bookmakers are an advanced, extra-terrestrial, humanoid...
New rules mean only bellends can apply for jobs as stewards. Stewards at Scutter Park are the first racecourse in...
Gravesend betting shop pelted with cow pats then burned to the ground by vegan protestoers after ‘Free hamburger with every bet’ giveaway...
Bookies ban punter stealing betting slips to use as toilet roll substitute Costco Warehouse Operative, Gareth Timms knows a good...
Legendary city of Atlantis housed beautiful racecourse where all favs won, so bookmakers blew it up to make way for...
Failed dope test reveals horse’s addiction to pickled onion-flavoured snacks Trainer Alf Archer has been charged by Scutter Park stewards...
‘DB Cooper cleaned up at Sittingbourne dogs so I pushed him out of plane’, says bookmaker. The 45-year-old mystery of...
Bookmakers need reclassifying as new species after latest research shows layers share 97% of their genetic material with FRILLED LIZARDS....
NOT being brutally murdered ‘a result’ thinks fake tipster. Self-styled betting ‘guru’ Benji Kirshtort, 46, thinks that NOT being lynched...
Bookmakers praise ‘indestructible’ FOBTs after protestors accidentally blow up betting shop with rocket launcher Betting giant Mugbet breathed a sigh...
Betting giant hits out at ‘Class 1 rubbish’ where everyone is trying Betting giant Mugbet has hit out at the...
