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Talking Scutter

Bellend now essential characteristic for stewarding job Bellend now essential characteristic for stewarding job
Stewards4 weeks ago

Stewarding job only open to bellends

New rules mean only bellends can apply for jobs as stewards. Stewards at Scutter Park are the first racecourse in...

Vegans pelt betting shop with COW PATS Vegans pelt betting shop with COW PATS
Betting Shops1 month ago

Vegans pelt betting shop with COW PATS

Gravesend betting shop pelted with cow pats then burned to the ground by vegan protestoers after ‘Free hamburger with every bet’ giveaway...

“I’ll never go back to toilet roll” says man wiping arse with betting slips “I’ll never go back to toilet roll” says man wiping arse with betting slips
Betting Shops1 month ago

“I’ll never go back to toilet roll” says man wiping arse with BETTING SLIPS

Bookies ban punter stealing betting slips to use as toilet roll substitute Costco Warehouse Operative, Gareth Timms knows a good...

Lost city of Atlantis sank when Bookmakers blew it up Lost city of Atlantis sank when Bookmakers blew it up
Exclusive1 month ago

Bookmakers blew up lost city of Atlantis

Legendary city of Atlantis housed beautiful racecourse where all favs won, so bookmakers blew it up to make way for...

Trainer banned for giving horse Monster Munch Trainer banned for giving horse Monster Munch
Racecourses1 month ago

Trainer banned for giving horse Monster Munch

Failed dope test reveals horse’s addiction to pickled onion-flavoured snacks Trainer Alf Archer has been charged by Scutter Park stewards...

Bookmakers2 months ago

Bookmaker KILLED plane hijacker ‘DB Cooper’ when he won Forecast treble at Sittingbourne

‘DB Cooper cleaned up at Sittingbourne dogs so I pushed him out of plane’, says bookmaker. The 45-year-old mystery of...

Bookmakers share 97% DNA with Frilled Lizards Bookmakers share 97% DNA with Frilled Lizards
Bookmakers2 months ago

Bookmakers share 97% DNA with Frilled Lizards

Bookmakers need reclassifying as new species after latest research shows layers share 97% of their genetic material with FRILLED LIZARDS....

Tipsters2 months ago

Tipster claims ‘not being lynched by losers’ a ‘big WIN’

NOT being brutally murdered ‘a result’ thinks fake tipster. Self-styled betting ‘guru’ Benji Kirshtort, 46, thinks that NOT being lynched...

FOBTs unscathed after protestors blow up bookies with bazooka FOBTs unscathed after protestors blow up bookies with bazooka
FOBTs2 months ago

FOBTs unscathed after betting shop blown up with bazooka

Bookmakers praise ‘indestructible’ FOBTs after protestors accidentally blow up betting shop with rocket launcher Betting giant Mugbet breathed a sigh...

Betting2 months ago

Royal Ascot Bookmaker astonished by lack of Class 6 racing

Betting giant hits out at ‘Class 1 rubbish’ where everyone is trying Betting giant Mugbet has hit out at the...

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