Bookmakers
‘Nothing to do with Corona’ says bookmaker DISINFECTING punters
Social distance fanatics applaud germ-dodging bookie who disinfects punters with Dettol and bleach
The sight of ‘2 metre’ floor markers, hand sanitizers and trolley wipes in supermarkets may have seemed far-fetched before the new ‘social distancing’ rules took hold.
But sanitation freak, independent bookmaker Keith Vim, 59, has spent years disinfecting his betting shop customers with detergents.
With a Perspex screen up long before it was fashionable, the bookie would fumigate the shop at the close of business and take betting slips with a five foot ‘litter picker’.
Keith has received a commendation from Daggenham council and a letter from the Mayor praising him for doing his bit in the fight against SARS-CoV-2, the virus causing the COVID-19 pandemic.
However, modest Vim insists: “I don’t deserve plaudits: this has nothing to do with corona. Punters are a grubby lot who need sterilising, or pasteurising - or both.
“I tell em get your filthy hands off my lovely betting slip dispensers."
Incinerating his suits when he comes home from the races, Vim admits to sleeping in an oxygen chamber to purify himself of the ‘disease-ridden vermin’ that make up his clients.
“They said my ‘no shoe’ policy was illegal when I dissolved their Ones and Twos in acid.
“‘Keith’, they says to me they says, ‘ere, you can’t chemical-spray them with that car jetwash’.
“I say to you: washing the shopping are we? Wearing a ski mask to the chippie? Spraying the post with antibac? Who’s the idiot now?
Punter Gareth Timms said: “Keith’s shop is great. It’s the only place I can get a bath.
Read More
Aftertimer backs 76 winners
Losing punter blows up betting shop toilet
‘Betting shop closures a disaster’ says bookmaker who just bought new kitchen
B*stard calls 7 false starts
‘I have magical photo-finish powers’ says liar checking Betfair for 1.01
Bookmaker makes PPE out of Betting Slips
Man scoops jackpot after putting cheese slices into roulette machine
Steward confirms ‘explanation noted’ means ‘f*ck off’
Odds Wanker’s Second Favourites Last – Again
‘Winning money is easy’ says total f*ckin romancer
Betting shop obliterated by CHIMP
Bookmaker arrested for turning dog kennel into betting shop
Bookmaker hid in problem gambler’s shed
Criminal scared of horses sentenced to job as White Flag Man
Grandad who ran over bookmaker with MOBILITY SCOOTER spared jail
Deranged gambler who played ‘punishment roulette’ with bookmaker walks free
-
Betting2 years ago
Man scoops jackpot after putting cheese slices into roulette machine
-
Racing2 years agoSteward confirms ‘explanation noted’ means ‘f*ck off’
-
Odds Wanker2 years agoOdds Wanker’s Second Favourites Last – Again
-
Punters2 years ago
‘Winning money is easy’ says total f*ckin romancer
-
Betting Shops2 years ago
Betting shop obliterated by CHIMP
-
Betting2 years agoBetting blog ‘bullsh*t warnings’ have no effect
-
Betting Shops2 years agoBookmaker refuses to pay man until he draws Bayeux Tapestry
-
Bookmakers2 years agoDeranged gambler who played ‘punishment roulette’ with bookmaker walks free