Man escapes credit bookmaker wearing nan’s clothes and wig

Living with grandmother Mavis in her fifth storey flat, Bill said: “I only owed 6 grand to begin wiv. I tried to get myself out of trouble so carried on betting.  Now I owe 25K!"

While father of three Bill promised to pay his credit bookmaker Mugbet back in full, he has been finding it hard to make the payments on his supermarket trolley collector’s salary.

“I’m separated from my Sheila and have to pay maintenance for three nippers."

After not answering any of the bookmaker’s telephone calls and blanking all their emails, Mugbet sent collection agent Keith Vim round to ruffle a few feathers.

• Punters wait 37 mins for photo finish while judge gets bet on

“I’d managed to give them the slip up to this point,” said Bill. “Hid in bins, behind washing the machine; even slid down the drainpipe.

“But this time they caught me unawares when I was watching Call the Midwife. I was really into this episode when nan gets up and opens the door don't she.

“That f*cker Keith Vim comes knockin saying, ‘Ooo, Call the Midwife – that’s my favourite programme ain't it, can I come in?’ So nan lets him in don’t she? Dopey cow.

Bill shook off credit bookmaker by running across buildings

“I slips on some of her clobber and slides past him in the hallway.”

With colleague Dik Venom waiting in his car at the bottom of the stairs, Bill - who practices free running - took to the roof and lost them.

Dik Venom said: “I don’t know what happened to Bill but watching Jason Bourne's grandma execute a side flip from off the railings and land on a moving bus was  definitely worth the trip.