Bookmakers face €20 fines for ‘made up gambles’

Punishment for bookmakers' made up gambles is now €20 fine and a telling off

Bookmakers pretending that horses are being backed will now get a hefty fine and a telling off.

The gambling watchdog says it will get tough on make-believe reports of horses being ‘backed’ or ‘working well’ by dishing out a €20 fine and a stiff talking to.

Bookmaker Keith Vim said: “So called 'gambles’ earn us a fortune. You only have to utter the words '7-4 to 13-8' and telephone lines explode.

“Without them I couldn’t drive a Bentley, send my kids to private school, or even have bought this gold toilet.

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“These monster fines should make us behave, but, we will do f*ck all if everyone wants our cash.”

Gambling watchdog spokeswoman Shelley Craps said: “In addition to the fine, bookmakers flouting the new rule will have a letter from us telling them to stop it.

“However, our six-figure salaries, mortgages and colossal pensions depend on your lost cash - so, as you were.”

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Spotting the Signs

The betting watchdog issued a Safety Pamphlet with all the signs to watch out for in case a full-of-shit bookmaker is trying it on.

Phrases:

• “He’s the one everyone wants to be on”
• “Well backed”
•  “Good money for…”
• “working well”

Practical Advice

• Run a mile from anyone wearing a betting costume (pom pom hats or bookmaker puffer jackets) telling you, ‘all the money has come for this one’

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