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Horse bored sh*tless in lockdown

Sherbie Johnson

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A horse is so bored in the coronavirus lockdown he would even consider trying to win a race.

Horse so bored in coronavirus lockdown he'd even consider trying to win race.

“At this moment,” 5 year-old bay gelding Jimmy Jumpsuit says, “I’d actually consider winning a race – even if the bookmakers told me I wasn’t allowed, just to alleviate the boredom.

“I’d pull a carriage at the seaside, just to get some air; I can’t go in the field without a policeman giving me a £60 fine.

“The postman thinks we’re all nutters when we dive on him and chat as he’s the only visitor we see all week.

“Not even bookmakers visit to ask if I’m ‘off’.

“It feels like months since I told a bookmaker I had absolutely no chance and he made me 2nd favourite – as if that was 4 weeks ago!

“I’ve binge-watched all 69 episodes of Call the Midwife - twice. Please shoot me!

“I thought about watching the Time Form gurus cluelessly analyse race replays from 13 years ago.

“But then, I realised…I’m bored, not f*cking stupid.”

 

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