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Talking Scutter

Football channel shuts off at 3.01 pm to show horse racing

Sherbie Johnson

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Football channel shuts off at 3.01 pm to show horse racing
Live Premiership games cut off to show point-to-point news and Epsom Dash

ScutballTV has announced it will interrupt its live televised Premiership games to show horse racing news instead.

The dedicated football channel which charges its die hard soccer fans £25.58 per month plans to interrupt the FA cup final in the 88th minute to show racing from Sedgefield.

In a bid to keep up with horse racing channels that give their customers football news instead of the horse racing coverage they pay for, ScutballTV will now do the same for its soccer fans - giving them a sport they neither want to watch nor care about.

Ride of the Week and old Pathe News footage of the Grand National will replace the sport devoted footy fans subscribe to.

The highly paid executives who run the channel told the Scutter that the Saturday scores and fixtures will be replaced by mane platting and interviews with blacksmiths.

Chief Executive Emanuel Navet said: “Stock footage of overpaid bellends in tracksuits with drawn-on beards doing star-jumps is so yesterday.

"Instead our viewers will get going reports and sectional times from last night’s action at Gulfstream and Charles Town, if we can be bothered.

“The latest Premiership games will be interrupted 1 minute after the kickoff to bring you some racing blokes paid by bookmakers drumming up trade for ante-post no-hopers who they know are non-runners inter-spliced with the Epsom Dash or the Pitman’s Derby.

Football fan, Gareth Timms said: “Eh? Racing is now football and football is…? I’m confused.”

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