Failed dope test reveals horse’s addiction to pickled onion-flavoured snacks Trainer Alf Archer has been charged by Scutter Park stewards...
Total idiot wrongly believes he’s mastered the art of stopping a loose horse at racecourse. No UK race meeting would be complete without a hundred bellends...
Senior steward at Scutter Park, Gareth Timms, answers some of your questions about the return to racing Nobody has missed racing more than me: giving completely...
‘So long suckers!’ shouts judge who landed monster bet then fled racecourse in sports car. Judge Maxwell Benson mysteriously took 37 minutes to decide a photo...
Small time crook terrified of horses serves punishment waving white flag on race tracks Gareth Timms, convicted for putting potatoes through a letterbox, was given a...
Man who used souped up mobility scooter to ‘battering ram’ racecourse bookmaker walks free. Using his mobility scooter as a battering ram, Tarquin Bibby, 89, drove...
Rabid badgers munch through Scutter Park’s 12 fences overnight, forcing 3-day meeting to close. This year’s three day festival at Scutter Park - named the ‘outhouse...
Furious betting chiefs pull plug on racing after power failure leaves bookmaker logos unilluminated. Betting giant Mugbet was incensed with rage after a power failure left...
Scutter Park manager blasts calls to abandon waterlogged meeting as ‘wimpish bullsh*t’ While basking sharks are swimming upsides the grandstand windows, Scutter Park’s general manager -...
New stringent dress codes force plebs to dress as agricultural workers when attending UK racecourses. Race goers with no private education or owners’ badge will wear...
Gravesend bookies blown to ‘smithereens’ after loser backs tailed off last second favourite then lobs hand grenade in sh*tter. There...
Revenue loss couldn’t come at worse time says betting chief whose home improvements cost an absolute bomb. Mugbet’s Chief Executive,...
Insiders confirm North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un fell into a coma moments after Seamus Heffernan’s Super Sunday 5000/1 Naas...
Awkward b*stard outdoes himself calling 7 false starts in 2-mile hurdle. Racing at Scutter Park wouldn’t be the same without...
Man who told betting shop he won millions on photo finishes with psychic abilities, definitely full of sh*t. Unemployed betting...
Gravesend bookie uses Goliath betting slips to craft snazzy COVID face mask. With face coverings compulsory for England’s shoppers as...
New rules mean only bellends can apply for jobs as stewards. Stewards at Scutter Park are the first racecourse in...
Gravesend betting shop pelted with cow pats then burned to the ground by vegan protestoers after ‘Free hamburger with every bet’ giveaway...
Bookies ban punter stealing betting slips to use as toilet roll substitute Costco Warehouse Operative, Gareth Timms knows a good...
Legendary city of Atlantis housed beautiful racecourse where all favs won, so bookmakers blew it up to make way for...