Horse says jockey ‘full of sh*t’ after rider claims swerving into rivals was ‘horse’s fault’. Racehorse Jimmy Jumpsuit has hit...
Plan to replace whip with kazoos thwarted as horses lose their sh*t. Horses have scuppered the latest incentive to replace whips with air horn canisters, kazoos...
Bookmaker prime suspect in popping WW2 grenade into feeding trough that blew up stable when horse went for 6pm evening sh*t. There are few horses luckier...
Stallion wanting some shut eye tells yard tour visitors to ‘piss off’ Leading sire Jimmy Jumpsuit told a guided tour "F*ck off the lot of...
Horse so bored in coronavirus lockdown he'd even consider trying to win race. “At this moment,” 5 year-old bay gelding Jimmy Jumpsuit says, “I’d actually consider...
Horse livid with jockey after pair win race they should have thrown Jockey Alf Archer was criticised by his horse for winning a race. Having ignored...
Eight year-old chaser with 160+ IQ horse equivalent of Rain Man The exclusive Mensa society confirmed race horse Jimmy Jumpsuit is now among the world’s cleverest...
Horses can now run at Mac 1.6 thanks to reinforced steel headgear that 'gees' them up with Thrash Metal Scientists have created new headgear that can...
"Racegoers throwing up and taking their clothes off; trainers threatening us with the sack if we lose and jockeys making daft noises during a race -...
A depressed thoroughbred racehorse is making his trainer question his future position. Gareth Beak asked himself the question whether there’s any point carrying on as a...
Revenue loss couldn’t come at worse time says betting chief whose home improvements cost an absolute bomb. Mugbet’s Chief Executive,...
Insiders confirm North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un fell into a coma moments after Seamus Heffernan’s Super Sunday 5000/1 Naas...
Awkward b*stard outdoes himself calling 7 false starts in 2-mile hurdle. Racing at Scutter Park wouldn’t be the same without...
Man who told betting shop he won millions on photo finishes with psychic abilities, definitely full of sh*t. Unemployed betting...
Gravesend bookie uses Goliath betting slips to craft snazzy COVID face mask. With face coverings compulsory for England’s shoppers as...
New rules mean only bellends can apply for jobs as stewards. Stewards at Scutter Park are the first racecourse in...
Gravesend betting shop pelted with cow pats then burned to the ground by vegan protestoers after ‘Free hamburger with every bet’ giveaway...
Bookies ban punter stealing betting slips to use as toilet roll substitute Costco Warehouse Operative, Gareth Timms knows a good...
Legendary city of Atlantis housed beautiful racecourse where all favs won, so bookmakers blew it up to make way for...
Failed dope test reveals horse’s addiction to pickled onion-flavoured snacks Trainer Alf Archer has been charged by Scutter Park stewards...