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B*stard calls 7 false starts

Desdemona Phelps

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2 months ago

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Bastard calls 7 false starts
Awkward b*stard outdoes himself calling 7 false starts in 2-mile hurdle.

Racing at Scutter Park wouldn’t be the same without the horses and riders taking a thousand turns and a false start being called.

But jobsworth Maxwell Benson outdid himself calling SEVEN false starts in the 2-mile ‘Transfer your Savings Now with Mugbet’ Handicap Hurdle.

Jockey Gareth Timms said: “That starter is off his head on drugs if he thinks he can get 30 super-charged, pumped up beasts to stand in a perfectly straight line.

“Making us walk 3 miles at the start then calling us back after two jumps for the sheer hell of it: he wants locking up the f*cking twat!

Benson said: “When I get on my rostrum its like having super powers.

“I can command cities and levitate, but not before I make the little sh*ts walk round till they’re dizzy or sick, and get the favourite facing the wrong way before I drop the tapes.

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