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Bookmakers shoot down in-running drones with rocket launchers

Bookmakers shoot down in-running drones with rocket launchers



On-course bookies turn to 'Rambo' for ideas on how to deal with 'in-running goons'

On-course bookmakers have taken a tough stance on new in-running drones on racecourses by blowing them up with rocket launchers.

Dik Venom from Mugbet said: “I'm sick of these Betfair goons. Show me a punter who’s won three pence with an edge and I’ll personally blow the f*ck out of him with a bazooka.

With 'one-to-one' live footage, in-running bettors claim the pictures provide an edge with no time lag behind the actual race event.

However, on-course bookmakers have taken serious umbrage at the ‘immoral, illegal technology that gives in-running punters an average profit of 36 pence after commission for a £25,000 bet.

"If these scumbags turn up here looking to win, all I’m saying is that Rambo film didn’t end too well for the mercenaries.”

While this may sound extreme, 1950s independent bookmaker Richard Venom (father to the above) famously shot ‘each way thieves’ in the back with
a crossbow.

Sick of 'goons' winning, bookmakers are shooting down in-running drones with rocket launchers and Hawitzers

On-course bookmaker Keith Vim said: “Belt-fed miniguns on the roof can take care of anybody looking to rob our cash; we can annihilate winners before they even get out their cars.”

“It would save us a lot of trouble if we could just blow up winning punters with Sherman tanks.”

Punter Gareth Timms said: “I went to collect my non-runner on a Lucky 15 and 5 howitzers from the other side of the track beamed their infrared sights on my chest.

"I let them keep it.”

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