Bookmakers

Bookmakers share 97% DNA with Frilled Lizards

Published

2 months ago

22nd June 2020

Leonard Collins

Bookmakers share 97% DNA with Frilled Lizards

Bookmakers need reclassifying as new species after latest research shows layers share 97% of their genetic material with FRILLED LIZARDS.

Frilled lizards are bookmakers’ closest living evolutionary relatives, sharing 97 per cent of their genetic material.

Chimpanzees have always been regarded as humans’ closest genetic relations with 96% comparable DNA.

But, this new study conducted by Scutter University may see bookmakers classified as a new species.

Tarquin Bibby, Professor of Translational Genetics at the Scutter University Biomedical Research Centre, said:

“The results are jaw-dropping: bookmakers really are cold-blooded lizard men!”

“Humans are made up of 3 billion genetic ‘building blocks’ or 'base pairs'.

"You and I have 99.9% the same base pairs as each other or the person next to us. But, we noticed a tiny 2% drop when we isolated bookmakers from their kin groups.

“Although they look a bit like people, this shift puts them right at home in the family of Agamidae - or ‘dragon lizards’.

Frilled lizards are bookmakers’ closest living evolutionary relatives, sharing 97 per cent of their DNA

“Bookmakers’ genetic composition makes them perfectly equipped take everyone’s cash and not care,” Professor Bibby said.

Ice Cold Blood

With disdain for everyone, ‘frillneck’ lizards have ice cold blood and puff up pleated skin flaps around their heads and hiss with their yellow-coloured mouths when threatened.

Sandra Venom, wife of independent bookmaker Dik said:

“This explains why Dik spends most of his time in trees, only coming down to feed on ants, spiders, cicadas, termites, and other small lizards.”

Frilled lizard, Gareth Timms said: “I ain’t happy about this discovery. Us frillies are known for our bravery.

"Bookies won’t even take a 50 quid each way double.”