Bookmakers

New study shows bookmakers share 97% DNA with Frilled Lizards

Published

2 years ago

22nd June 2020

Bookmakers share 97% DNA with Frilled Lizards

Calls to reclassify bookmakers as new species after research shows layers share 97% DNA with FRILLED LIZARDS.

New research shows that frilled lizards are bookmakers’ closest living evolutionary relatives, sharing 97 per cent of their genetic material - more than gorillas or chimps.

While chimpanzees have always been regarded as humans’ closest genetic relations with 96% comparable DNA, this new genetic breakthrough could see bookmakers classified as a new species.

Tarquin Bibby, Professor of Translational Genetics at the Scutter University Biomedical Research Centre, said: “The results are ground breaking, but probably not surprising: bookmakers are cold-blooded lizard men!”

“Humans are made up of 3 billion genetic ‘building blocks’ or 'base pairs' but, we noticed a 2% difference when we analysed the DNA of a few bookmakers we had in the lab.

“Although they look a bit like people, this tiny DNA signature puts them right at home in the family of Agamidae - or ‘dragon lizards’.

Frilled lizards are bookmakers’ closest living evolutionary relatives, sharing 97 per cent of their DNA

“Bookmakers’ genetics make them perfectly equipped take everyone’s cash and not care,” Professor Bibby said.

Ice Cold Blood

With disdain for everyone, ‘frillneck’ lizards have ice cold blood and puff up pleated skin flaps around their heads and hiss with their yellow-coloured mouths when threatened.

Sandra Venom, wife of independent bookmaker Dik said:

“This explains why Dik spends most of his time in trees, only coming down to feed on ants, spiders, cicadas, termites, and other small lizards.”

Frilled lizard, Gareth Timms said: “I ain’t happy about this discovery. Us frillies are known for our bravery.

"Bookies won’t even take a 50 quid each way double.”