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Trainers paid by bookmakers fretting over compulsory period costumes



Trainers in the pay of bookmakers are feeling anxious about new compulsory period costumes.

The move to make Victorian, Regency or Late-Georgian period costumes mandatory has made some trainers who are paid by bookmakers ‘sick with worry’.

An anonymous trainer worrying about how racegoers would perceive their latest dress said: “Walking canes and deluxe men’s stockings – OK, but are the wigs necessary?”

“Please don’t beat us up, just shoot us.”

Horse Racing Trainers in the pay of bookmakers are feeling anxious about new compulsory period costumes.
“Ain’t about that naff puffer-jacket life no more” – trainers will now be forced to wear Regency costumes

Jockeys, however have no problem with the velour romper suits they are being forced to wear.

Burly racegoer Gareth Timms said: “A bloke dressed as Prince George III with white make-up and rouge offered me £200 to walk his horse to the ring in this ridiculous costume. I’d rather go skint than wear that sh*t.”

Mugbet spokesman Harry Bore said: “Trainers and jockeys in our pocket ain’t about that naff puffer-jacket life no more: think less pom-pom hats and more Jane Austen.”

“We will set fire to their old clothes or dissolve them in acid. I will dress as the butler out of Downton Abbey.”

“Who cares how much they cost, the punters have paid for the lot,” Bore said.

Trainer Alf Archer, ambassador for Mugbet, wears his period costume even when not attending the races
Mugbet Ambassador, Trainer Alf Archer said: “These are my normal clothes. Zero f*cks given”
Dandy Bastards

The “Dandy Bastards Initiative” comes after a four-year consultation about the image of racing involving bookmakers, the Trainer’s Partnership and the FBP.

Mugbet Ambassador, trainer Alf Archer wears his costume even when not attending the races. Reclining on a chaise lounge, Archer said:

“Pantaloons? Stockings? These are my normal clothes – zero f*cks given”

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Trainer’s Wife draws the line at Betting Logos on DUVET



Trainer's wife

Millicent Archer will divorce her husband trainer Alf unless he refuses to sleep in bed sheets covered in Mugbet betting logos.

Plans for Mugbet betting ambassador, National Hunt trainer Alf Archer, to have bookmaking logos plastered all over his sleeping comforter have been scuppered by wife Millicent.

While Millicent has no objections to the Mugbet logos daubed on his work riders’ underpants, his office staff and the stable cat, she has put her foot down on bedroom emblems and pyjamas.

Millicent said: “I’ve put up with Alf’s sh*t for years. Going to the races blind drunk? Why not? Shagging the stable lasses in the Premier Inn? We all need to let loose once in a while. But a King Size Mugbet duvet in our private chambers? That’s unreasonable.”

Mugbet spokesman Keith Vim said: “I normally sleep in between Alf and Milly so it’s a shame we can’t get our logo in this last free spot in the house.”

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Bookmakers launch Cash for Trainers Christmas appeal



Cash for trainers in new Christmas charity appeal

Instead of losing on beaten favourites, Boxing Day punters can pay trainers direct by chucking cash in a bucket.

Trainers who are paid by bookmakers will get more cash following the launch of a new Christmas charity appeal. Instead of losing on one of their beaten favourites, punters can throw money into a bucket and send it directly to the trainer.

Trainer Alf Archer said: “Christmas is all about getting presents. Don’t send the Salvation Army 19 quid – give it to us so we can get sports cars and strippers.”

“Trainers are practically scraping by on £400K a year. We’ll take 2p coins wrapped in chewing gum from off the floor; anything as long as it’s not our money.”

“Make sure it’s crisp wonga though: sh*t like hampers or cards will only end up in landfill.”

Keith Vim from Mugbet said: “These poor horse racing trainers who only have one Landrover each are struggling to buy a fifth home. Therefore, bookmakers in Santa outfits will shake cash buckets at you while you’re desperately trying to watch the Kind George. Come and give us a wad. Ho ho ho!”

Punter Gareth Timms said: “None of my kids will have any Christmas gifts – my wallet’s reeling from all the donations.

“I haven’t even had a bet yet but there’s a whopping ten grand in the bucket on its way to one lucky trainer. It’s f*cking brilliant!”

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