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Bookmaker refuses to pay man until he draws Bayeux Tapestry

Sherbie Johnson

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Bookmaker refuses to pay man until he draws 68 metre Bayeux Tapestry.

Betting giant Mugbet refuses to pay Gareth Timms, 29, from Orpington, the £371 he won until he complies with new identity checks and draws the full Bayeux Tapestry.

Timms said: “I’m bloody fuming! I sent them my passport, a wedding photo, a selfie with today’s newspaper, a copy of my will signed by a solicitor and I’ve had my genome sequenced by Mugbet’s super computer.”

“I’ve signed my soul over to them in a formal transfer service so I'm effectively the legal property of Mugbet. But still no sign of any cash!”

Mugbet spokesman Harry Bore said: “He says on his Twitter page that he went to France, once, in the 80’s.

“To prove it’s him, we’ve requested he draws the 68 metre Bayeaux Tapestry on one A4 sheet. In crayon.

“These checks are necessary, and have nothing to do with us not wanting to pay that f*cker Timms.”

Another regular punter in the same shop told the Scutter: “Gareth’s had it easy. I’m 90% blind and won £275 on the Irish Lottery.”

“As a holding payment Mugbet asked me to hand over my motorised wheelchair, and my guide dog, Alan.”

“I still haven’t been paid, so I now live in the shop with a load of other blokes who’ve signed their homes over to Mugbet.”

Guide dog Alan said: “It was better than our old home so you could say we won in the end.”

Bookmaker Refuses to Pay Punter Until he draws out Full 68 m Bayeux Tapestry. Guide dog Alan was 'confiscated' as a holding payment
Guide dog, Alan, now a permanent fixture at Mugbet
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