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Bookies dig up GRAVES of dead winning punters

Tony Titt

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bookmakers dig up graves of dead winning punters
Bookies across the UK have been digging up graves of punters who won off them.

Keith Vim from Mugbet has called on bookies everywhere to pick up a spade and dig after rumours circulated that some successful gamblers were taking their winnings to their graves.

“Some call it ‘tomb robbing’ but I like to think of myself as discovering precious artefacts like Indiana Jones or that bloke out The Mummy.”

Graves have been raided for centuries for many reasons including ransom, cannibalism, and medical dissections - but bookmakers admit they just want cash.

“Let’s face it” said Vim “things haven’t been so good since the FOBT reduction last year, so we’re coming up with new ways to increase profits. I wonder if there’s any gold?”

Expired punter Gareth Timms, from beyond the grave said: “Two spivs from the Mugbet ‘body snatching’ department tried to take my entire coffin away to demand a ransom from my family.

“However, some of the lads here performed a ‘Thriller Zombie’ dance and scared the sh*t out of them – I don’t think they’ll be back any time soon.”

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