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Bikini babes to jazz up ‘dead’ betting shops

Desdemona Phelps

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Semi-naked TV presenters drum up trade for betting shops with no customers.

Following the reduction in maximum stakes on fixed-odds betting terminals and a migration to mainly online business, 'dead' betting shops have prompted bosses to launch their latest swimwear initiative.

Female presenters will wear bikinis and their male counterparts will go shirtless with a bow tie.

Director of communications, Mrs Claire Simon said:“The gloves are off. Or should I say pants?."

“We’ve tried bribing these idiot punters with stale biscuits, toilet-water coffee and sandwiches we found in the skips.

“We tried offering them a £2 bet when they lose a few thousand, but they’ve all sodded off, so it's time to get your kit off.”

New rules for television hosts in betting shops will see female presenters wear a bikini and their male counterparts go shirtless with a bow tie to reinvigorate their dead bookie outlets
How betting shop TV presenters will look next year

"Our female staff will wear bikinis, and the lads will look like Chippendales.”

Presenter Gareth Timms said: “All of a sudden, I’m not looking forward to the Christmas Hurdle.”

Punter Vince Bibby, 69, unemployed, said: “I can’t tell the difference. None of them had any proper clothes on to begin with.”

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