Betting Shops
Betting shop obliterated by CHIMP

CHIMP wrecks betting shop in furious rampage after fleeing quarters when owner tried to give him breakfast.
One of Mugbet’s Lincolnshire betting shops was completely obliterated by a chimp who escaped his enclosure during the early hours of yesterday morning.
In a scene resembling Planet of the Apes, the chimp known locally as ‘Dave’ punched through self-service machines, threw bins through windows and swung an axe at fixed odds betting terminals.
Only rubble remained of the former betting emporium with staff fearing for their lives.
Manager Sid Creep, 32, said: “He trashed the place like Rambo, then when he was done he smoked all my fags, walked calmly out the door then put his middle finger up at the CCTV.”
“He seemed to know what he was doing.”
Eyewitness Steve Perterton, said: “He ran out the zoo gates for the ice cream van, but then he stopped and ‘declared war’ on the betting shop in what looked like a ‘power up’ move.”
It is thought Dave ran amok after two zoo visitors opened his cage while the primate’s keeper was giving him his breakfast.

“He must have had it in for the bookmakers because he ripped all the TVs off the walls, threw a dustbin at the manager then had a big sh*t in the seating area.”
A zoo spokesman said: “Fortunately Dave knows the area well and returned to his cage soon after his morning japes. It’s a good job no one goes in betting shops or someone could have been hurt.”
Speaking to this publication, chimp ‘Dave’ said:
“Guess I’m f*cked now if I want the early prices.”
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