Insiders confirm North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un fell into a coma moments after Seamus Heffernan’s Super Sunday 5000/1 Naas hat trick. Speculation over the health...
Gravesend bookie uses Goliath betting slips to craft snazzy COVID face mask. With face coverings compulsory for England’s shoppers as of 24th July, Mugbet CEO Keith...
Bookies ban punter stealing betting slips to use as toilet roll substitute Costco Warehouse Operative, Gareth Timms knows a good deal when he sees it. Doing...
Failed dope test reveals horse’s addiction to pickled onion-flavoured snacks Trainer Alf Archer has been charged by Scutter Park stewards after one of his horses returned...
Bookmakers need reclassifying as new species after latest research shows layers share 97% of their genetic material with FRILLED LIZARDS. Frilled lizards are bookmakers’ closest living...
Horse says jockey ‘full of sh*t’ after rider claims swerving into rivals was ‘horse’s fault’. Racehorse Jimmy Jumpsuit has hit out at his ‘lying bastard’ jockey...
Total idiot wrongly believes he’s mastered the art of stopping a loose horse at racecourse. No UK race meeting would be complete without a hundred bellends...
Kid bookie minted after taking bets on primary school Olympics he fixed with pals Sports Day at St Winifred’s Roman Catholic School, Gravesend, finished with...
Plan to replace whip with kazoos thwarted as horses lose their sh*t. Horses have scuppered the latest incentive to replace whips with air horn canisters, kazoos...
‘So long suckers!’ shouts judge who landed monster bet then fled racecourse in sports car. Judge Maxwell Benson mysteriously took 37 minutes to decide a photo...
Gravesend bookies blown to ‘smithereens’ after loser backs tailed off last second favourite then lobs hand grenade in sh*tter. There...
Revenue loss couldn’t come at worse time says betting chief whose home improvements cost an absolute bomb. Mugbet’s Chief Executive,...
Insiders confirm North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un fell into a coma moments after Seamus Heffernan’s Super Sunday 5000/1 Naas...
Awkward b*stard outdoes himself calling 7 false starts in 2-mile hurdle. Racing at Scutter Park wouldn’t be the same without...
Man who told betting shop he won millions on photo finishes with psychic abilities, definitely full of sh*t. Unemployed betting...
Gravesend bookie uses Goliath betting slips to craft snazzy COVID face mask. With face coverings compulsory for England’s shoppers as...
New rules mean only bellends can apply for jobs as stewards. Stewards at Scutter Park are the first racecourse in...
Gravesend betting shop pelted with cow pats then burned to the ground by vegan protestoers after ‘Free hamburger with every bet’ giveaway...
Bookies ban punter stealing betting slips to use as toilet roll substitute Costco Warehouse Operative, Gareth Timms knows a good...
Legendary city of Atlantis housed beautiful racecourse where all favs won, so bookmakers blew it up to make way for...