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1 DAY with no beaten favourites makes bookmaker EXPLODE in giant fireball

Tony Titt

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1 DAY with no beaten favourites makes bookmaker EXPLODE in giant fireball
Spontaneous human combustion to blame after manager explodes in giant fireball following 1 day with no beaten favourites due to coronavirus shop closure.

Police have cordoned off Mugbet’s Gravesend outlet after betting shop manager Keith Vim went into spontaneous human combustion and blew up the building.

Closed due to the coronavirus outbreak, it is thought the betting shop manager was engulfed in a giant fireball after going 24 hours with no punters to rip off or any beaten favourites to lay.

No one was hurt after the blast ripped through the shop’s television gantry, ATM machine and BAGs cards, but self-service betting terminals were beyond repair.

Mugbet’s Dik Venom said: “All that remained of Keith was a steaming pile of ash where he once sat. But don’t worry, you can still bet by post.”

Bookmaking DNA

Examining Vim’s burned-to-a-cinder remains, scientists quickly studied the material and made a shocking discovery.

Bookmakers may be genetically different to other human beings.
Bookmakers' Mitochondria explode violently after just 24 hours with no exposure to beaten favourites.

Identifying a weakness in bookmaker DNA, the research confirms the team’s belief that Bookmakers are genetically different to other human beings.

Professor of genomics at Scutter University, Dr. Gareth Timms said:

“Bookmakers’ genetics are completely stable for up to 24 hours as long as there is a steady flow of opportunities to cheat, pay off authorities, or con people out of money.

“However, their Mitochondria explode violently after just 24 hours with no exposure to beaten favourites.

“While this discovery is ground breaking, we had better prepare for more explosions up and down the country if this coronavirus closes any more betting shops much longer.”

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