With an IQ of 160, race horse Jimmy Jumpsuit is officially brainier than his jockey and trainer combined The exclusive Mensa society confirmed race horse Jimmy...
Bullsh*t warnings on trainers’ and jockeys’ betting blogs – such as ‘damage to finance’ and ‘may contain BS’ – do not work. A study found that...
Do you go on more romantic dinner dates with your bookie than your wife? Sounds like you could be in a toxic relationship with your bookmaker...
Tourists have flocked to hear a new Dawn Chorus – the warbling bullshit of racing pundits The ‘Dawn Chorus’ of racing pundits warbling bullshit at...
France’s first bookmaker was guillotined on this day in 1794 for his barbaric treatment of peasants The 21st November 1794 saw France’s first bookmaker, Aristocrat Garett-Palombes...
Bookmakers have branded a new ‘Punter of the Year‘ initiative – to recognise the best gambler in a calendar year – ‘obscene’ in a furious rant....
Betting on losers is hard and sometimes tests your faith, so I decided to sit in the middle of town and listen to the fanatical street...
Scutter Park’s general manager has blasted calls to abandon the waterlogged meeting as ‘wimpish bullsh*t’ While basking sharks are swimming upsides the grandstand windows, Scutter Park’s...
Scientists have created new headgear that ‘gees-up’ horses with Thrash Metal to run at supersonic speeds. New headgear can make horses gallop fast enough to break...
Scientists have developed a device that controls jockeys’ brain cells via a car stereo knob The wireless ‘Stereo Mind Patch’ allows a bookmaker to take control...
Follow the terrible week of South Africa’s most awful betting tipster, Edwin ‘Odds Wanker’ Gonzo – whose worst bets ever advised include this week’s last-placed second...
‘Explanation noted’ is secret code for stewards telling trainers ‘we weren’t born yesterday mate’. Steward Keith Vim said: “Explanation noted is our secret code for ‘you’re...
Community activists have launched a campaign to help a shed-dwelling gambler who downsized 16 times and is now living in an abandoned riverside chalet Measures are...
Non-triers, runners taking wrong courses and swerving jockeys will make Virtual racing more realistic. Virtual racing is to become ‘a more realistic betting product’ by having...
A punter was totally baffled when a friendly betting shop staff member said “hello”. When unemployed dog punter Gareth Timms, 49, visited his local Mugbet betting...
New adverts NOT showing PPI, payday loans or funerals have caused meltdown among racing fans Gareth Timms’ blew a fuse over wholesome racing channel adverts that...
A failed gambler who played ‘punishment roulette’ with his bookmaker has walked free from court
Missing for three days, St Bernard Gareth Timms’ time-stamp machine was found in a ditch
Only Area 51 guards, aliens living on the complex and bookmakers will be privy to the hushed-up UK 'training races'.
Race horse Jimmy Jumpsuit has come to the conclusion that all humans are f*cking stupid Jimmy Jumpsuit, a 5yo bay gelding horse said: “Humans are stupid...
Jockey Alf Archer was sacked for not swerving into other riders, it has emerged. Finishing second, popular jockey Alf Archer was sacked as retained rider to...
Professional Layabout Ricky Tibbs gives practical advice for how to deal with losing runs. A lot of you have written in asking me how to deal...
Virtual racing results are actually determined by a man captured in 2003 and forced to press buttons all day in a floating booth in the North...
William Hill pundit celebrations after a race are definitely a good thing, a total idiot thinks William Hill TV pundits punching the air, brushing fluff off...
‘Winning money on horses is easy’ a total romancer has claimed. Romancer Gareth Timms, 41, from Hertfordshire says winning money is so easy that he can...
New rules for television hosts in betting shops will see female presenters wear a bikini and their male counterparts shirtless with a bow tie to reinvigorate...
A local ‘Samaritan’ has been banned from betting shops everywhere in the world for smashing up local emporiums in Exeter and Torquay. Banned from all betting...
With an IQ of 160, race horse Jimmy Jumpsuit is officially brainier than his jockey and trainer combined The exclusive...
Bullsh*t warnings on trainers’ and jockeys’ betting blogs – such as ‘damage to finance’ and ‘may contain BS’ – do...
Do you go on more romantic dinner dates with your bookie than your wife? Sounds like you could be in...
Tourists have flocked to hear a new Dawn Chorus – the warbling bullshit of racing pundits The ‘Dawn Chorus’...
France’s first bookmaker was guillotined on this day in 1794 for his barbaric treatment of peasants The 21st November 1794...
Bookmakers have branded a new ‘Punter of the Year‘ initiative – to recognise the best gambler in a calendar year...
Betting on losers is hard and sometimes tests your faith, so I decided to sit in the middle of town...
Scutter Park’s general manager has blasted calls to abandon the waterlogged meeting as ‘wimpish bullsh*t’ While basking sharks are swimming...
Scientists have created new headgear that ‘gees-up’ horses with Thrash Metal to run at supersonic speeds. New headgear can make...
Scientists have developed a device that controls jockeys’ brain cells via a car stereo knob The wireless ‘Stereo Mind Patch’...
