Social distance fanatics applaud germ-dodging bookie who disinfects punters with Dettol and bleach The sight of ‘2 metre’ floor markers, hand sanitizers and trolley wipes in...
Senior steward at Scutter Park, Gareth Timms, answers some of your questions about the return to racing Nobody has missed racing more than me: giving completely...
Pensioner receives good duffing up for winning £21.50 Betting giant Mugbet sent henchmen round to a pensioner's home address after he won £21.50 on a bet....
Punter smashes home up with sledge hammer after just four races The defeat of French ‘good things’ has made recreational gambler Gareth Timms trash his kitchen,...
‘So long suckers!’ shouts judge who landed monster bet then fled racecourse in sports car. Judge Maxwell Benson mysteriously took 37 minutes to decide a photo...
Stallion wanting some shut eye tells yard tour visitors to ‘piss off’ Leading sire Jimmy Jumpsuit told a guided tour "F*ck off the lot of...
Photoshopping pretend wins on hold as tipster puts himself on furlough Self-employed tipster Gareth Timms said: “COVID-19 means people aren't taking advantage of my awesome offers...
With lockdown causing his income to drop, Twitter tipster Gareth Timms now believes he is the dog’s b*llocks on international racing. Timms said: “It’s easy: harness...
Jockey optimistic of first win since apprenticeship started in 1987. Budding apprentice, Gareth Timms, is optimistic he will ride a winner one day, despite being the...
Nectar ‘millionaire’ bet with supermarket loyalty points after running out of cash. Gareth Timms blew all his cash betting on Will Rogers Downs and Gulfstream during...
Bookmaker insists new 'betting shops' hosted on Zoom are the future. Director of Communications, Keith Vim said: “Our Zoom betting shops are great for anyone missing...
Horse so bored in coronavirus lockdown he'd even consider trying to win race. “At this moment,” 5 year-old bay gelding Jimmy Jumpsuit says, “I’d actually consider...
Punter backed all 40 Virtual Grand National runners then claims race was FIXED when he lost. After placing £1 on all 40 runners in the Virtual...
"Forget key workers, emptying ‘Luck of the Irish’ slot machines is ‘essential’ to US" – betting giant says. Mugbet has declared emptying the ‘Luck of the...
Get in your gardens and clap, bookmakers tell racing industry. As the racing world sinks slowly into oblivion with thousands fearing job losses due to the...
“Betting had nowt to do with it,” says call centre worker sacked for shouting ‘COME ON’ at computer screen. Sacked Gareth Timms explained that screaming ‘come...
‘Please keep losing money’, bookmaker pleads amid coronavirus lockdown. Betting giant Mugbet has asked customers nicely if they continue to lose cash during the coronavirus lockdown....
Spontaneous human combustion to blame after manager explodes in giant fireball following 1 day with no beaten favourites due to coronavirus shop closure. Police have cordoned...
Horse livid with jockey after pair win race they should have thrown Jockey Alf Archer was criticised by his horse for winning a race. Having ignored...
Racing pundits will tour UK in massive ‘punting’ truck, promising to bore horse racing fans to tears. 18 well-known pundits will complete a tour of all...
Rabid badgers munch through Scutter Park’s 12 fences overnight, forcing 3-day meeting to close. This year’s three day festival at Scutter Park - named the ‘outhouse...
Fuming Mugbet removes coffee machines, papers and chairs from its shops after punter lands 4p win single Betting giant Mugbet has cancelled all concessions after regular...
New Pawnbroker Betting Shop allows punters to bet with clothes, vehicles or pets. Lucky Gravesend gamblers can now pop into Mugbet's new pawnbroker-style betting shop, swap...
Bookies across the UK have been digging up graves of punters who won off them. Keith Vim from Mugbet has called on bookies everywhere to pick...
Betting watchdog fines bookmaker for serving 9-year old lad with a beard drawn on in Biro. Betting giant Mugbet has been fined a whopping £3 million...
Jockey sacked by his bookmaker for winning the race they sponsor. Betting giant Mugbet has sacked their betting ambassador jockey Alf Archer for WINNING a race...
Regulator: "bookmakers' made-up gambles will earn them a €20 fine and a telling off" Bookmakers pretending that horses are being backed will now get a hefty...
Mugbet kindly donates wheelie bin to punter they made homeless. Punter Gareth Timms, who was made homeless by Mugbet’s endless false favourites, rubbish offers, and rigged...
Shocked locals witness jockeys pelted with horse MANURE in sick Betting Ambassador initiation. Jockeys Alf Archer and Tarquin Bibby were admitted as Mugbet’s new betting ambassadors after...
Furious betting chiefs pull plug on racing after power failure leaves bookmaker logos unilluminated. Betting giant Mugbet was incensed with rage after a power failure left...
Bed sheets covered in betting logos is a step too far - trainers wife protests. Plans for Mugbet betting ambassador, National Hunt trainer Alf Archer, to...
Mugbet blasts ‘old git’ who backed first ever winner by filling in quickslip wrong. Burt Jackson, 100, has annoyed bookmaking giant Mugbet by winning his first...
Psychotic Biblical killer King Herod was a bookmaker, scrolls show. New evidence unearthed by archaeologists at Scutter University shows psychopathic tyrant king Herod of Judea was...
Bookmakers charity appeal lets Boxing Day punters chuck money in bucket to pay trainers. Instead of losing on one of their beaten favourites, punters can throw...
Bookmaker sacks TV pundit for tipping TWO winners. 49-year-old horse racing pundit Gareth Timms was sacked just 1 hour into his new role after he gave...
Trainer and jockey caught with bookmaker boss in steamy sex romp in back of HORSE BOX. A bookmaker whipped both the trainer and jockey he sponsors,...
Bookmakers brand new 'Punter of the Year' initiative - to recognise the best gambler in a calendar year - 'obscene’ in furious rant. Bookmakers, racecourses, and...
Scutter Park’s general manager blasts calls to abandon waterlogged meeting as ‘wimpish bullsh*t’ While basking sharks are swimming upsides the grandstand windows, Scutter Park’s general manager...
Horses can now run at Mac 1.6 thanks to reinforced steel headgear that 'gees' them up with Thrash Metal Scientists have created new headgear that can...
Scientists develop device to control jockeys’ brain cells via car stereo knob Researchers from Mugbet Bookmaker’s Institute of Science and Technology installed the implants to prevent...
Stewards' confirm 'explanation noted’ secret code for ‘we weren’t born yesterday mate’. Steward Keith Vim said: "Explanation noted is a great way of saying 'you're a...
Community activists launch campaign to help shed-dwelling gambler who downsized 16 times and now lives in abandoned riverside chalet Measures are underway to find better accommodation...
Non-triers, runners taking wrong courses and swerving jockeys will make Virtual racing more realistic. Virtual racing is to become ‘a more realistic betting product’ by having...
Punter totally baffled when friendly betting shop staff member said "hello". When unemployed dog punter Gareth Timms, 49, visited his local Mugbet betting shop, a pleasant,...
New adverts NOT showing PPI, payday loans or funerals have caused meltdown among racing fans Gareth Timms’ blew a fuse over wholesome racing channel adverts that...
Missing for three days, St Bernard Gareth Timms’ time-stamp machine was found in a ditch
Only Area 51 guards, aliens living on the complex and bookmakers will be privy to the hushed-up UK 'training races'.
"Racegoers throwing up and taking their clothes off; trainers threatening us with the sack if we lose and jockeys making daft noises during a race -...
Jockey sacked for not swerving into other riders. Jockey, Alf Archer, was sacked yesterday for not swerving into another horse and rider. While ‘swerving’ – the...
Professional Layabout Ricky Tibbs gives practical advice for how to deal with losing runs. A lot of you have written in asking me how to deal...
Pundits’ brains zapped with electricity to talk b*llocks all day New research shows that pundits’ brains are actually blasted with hundreds of millions of volts in...
Bookmaker prime suspect in popping WW2 grenade into feeding trough that blew up stable when horse went for 6pm evening sh*t. There are few horses luckier...
Social distance fanatics applaud germ-dodging bookie who disinfects punters with Dettol and bleach The sight of ‘2 metre’ floor markers,...
Pensioner receives good duffing up for winning £21.50 Betting giant Mugbet sent henchmen round to a pensioner’s home address after...
Punter smashes home up with sledge hammer after just four races The defeat of French ‘good things’ has made recreational...
‘So long suckers!’ shouts judge who landed monster bet then fled racecourse in sports car. Judge Maxwell Benson mysteriously took...
Pundits’ brains zapped with electricity to talk b*llocks all day New research shows that pundits’ brains are actually blasted with...
Bookmaker prime suspect in popping WW2 grenade into feeding trough that blew up stable when horse went for 6pm evening...
Stallion wanting some shut eye tells yard tour visitors to ‘piss off’ Leading sire Jimmy Jumpsuit told a guided...
Photoshopping pretend wins on hold as tipster puts himself on furlough Self-employed tipster Gareth Timms said: “COVID-19 means people aren’t...
With lockdown causing his income to drop, Twitter tipster Gareth Timms now believes he is the dog’s b*llocks on international...
Jockey optimistic of first win since apprenticeship started in 1987. Budding apprentice, Gareth Timms, is optimistic he will ride a...
