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‘Nothing to do with Corona’ says bookmaker DISINFECTING punters ‘Nothing to do with Corona’ says bookmaker DISINFECTING punters
Bookmakers2 weeks ago

‘Nothing to do with Corona’ says bookmaker DISINFECTING punters

Social distance fanatics applaud germ-dodging bookie who disinfects punters with Dettol and bleach The sight of ‘2 metre’ floor markers,...

Bookmakers4 weeks ago

Bookmaker clobbered pensioner for winning £21.50

Pensioner receives good duffing up for winning £21.50  Betting giant Mugbet sent henchmen round to a pensioner’s home address after...

Man smashes up kitchen as French racing resumes Man smashes up kitchen as French racing resumes
Punters4 weeks ago

Punter smashes up kitchen as French racing resumes

Punter smashes home up with sledge hammer after just four races The defeat of French ‘good things’ has made recreational...

Punters wait 37 mins for photo finish while judge gets bet on Punters wait 37 mins for photo finish while judge gets bet on
Racecourses4 weeks ago

Punters wait 37 mins for photo finish while judge gets bet on

‘So long suckers!’ shouts judge who landed monster bet then fled racecourse in sports car. Judge Maxwell Benson mysteriously took...

Pundits4 weeks ago

Pundits’ brains zapped with electricity to talk b*ollocks

Pundits’ brains zapped with electricity to talk b*llocks all day New research shows that pundits’ brains are actually blasted with...

Horse swallowed grenade then blew up stable after sh*t Horse swallowed grenade then blew up stable after sh*t
Horses4 weeks ago

Horse swallowed grenade then blew up stable after massive sh*t

Bookmaker prime suspect in popping WW2 grenade into feeding trough that blew up stable when horse went for 6pm evening...

Breeding4 weeks ago

Stallion tells stable tour to “p*ss off”

Stallion wanting some shut eye tells yard tour visitors to ‘piss off’   Leading sire Jimmy Jumpsuit told a guided...

Tipster furloughs himself Tipster furloughs himself
Tipsters1 month ago

Tipster furloughs himself

Photoshopping pretend wins on hold as tipster puts himself on furlough Self-employed tipster Gareth Timms said: “COVID-19 means people aren’t...

Tipster suddenly ‘international racing expert’ Tipster suddenly ‘international racing expert’
Tipsters1 month ago

Tipster suddenly ‘international racing expert’

With lockdown causing his income to drop, Twitter tipster Gareth Timms now believes he is the dog’s b*llocks on international...

Apprentice jockey dreams of first winner at 58 Apprentice jockey dreams of first winner at 58
Jockey1 month ago

Apprentice jockey dreams of first winner at 58

Jockey optimistic of first win since apprenticeship started in 1987. Budding apprentice, Gareth Timms, is optimistic he will ride a...

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