Furious betting chiefs pulled the plug on racing last night after Scutter Park’s power failure left bookmaker logos unilluminated. Betting giant Mugbet was incensed with rage...
Millicent Archer will divorce her husband trainer Alf unless he refuses to sleep in bed sheets covered in Mugbet betting logos. Plans for Mugbet betting ambassador,...
Mugbet blasts ‘old git’ who backed first ever winner by filling in quickslip wrong. Burt Jackson, 100, has annoyed the sh*t out of bookmaking giant Mugbet...
New discovery shows psychotic Biblical killer King Herod was in fact a bookmaker. New evidence unearthed by archaeologists at Scutter University shows psychopathic tyrant king Herod...
Instead of losing on beaten favourites, Boxing Day punters can pay trainers direct by chucking cash in a bucket. Trainers who are paid by bookmakers will...
Bookmaking giant Mugbet has sacked TV pundit Gareth Timms for tipping TWO winners. 49-year-old horse racing pundit Gareth Timms was sacked just 1 hour into his...
The BHA has recommended other industries follow suit on their policy of men waving flags at each other. Despite the Industrial Revolution, developments in AI and...
Trainer and jockey caught with their bookmaker boss in steamy sex romp in back of HORSE BOX. A bookmaker whipped both the trainer and jockey he...
With an IQ of 160, race horse Jimmy Jumpsuit is officially brainier than his jockey and trainer combined The exclusive Mensa society confirmed race horse Jimmy...
Bullsh*t warnings on trainers’ and jockeys’ betting blogs – such as ‘damage to finance’ and ‘may contain BS’ – do not work. A study found that...
Do you go on more romantic dinner dates with your bookie than your wife? Sounds like you could be in a toxic relationship with your bookmaker...
Tourists have flocked to hear a new Dawn Chorus – the warbling bullshit of racing pundits The ‘Dawn Chorus’ of racing pundits warbling bullshit at...
France’s first bookmaker was guillotined on this day in 1794 for his barbaric treatment of peasants The 21st November 1794 saw France’s first bookmaker, Aristocrat Garett-Palombes...
Bookmakers have branded a new ‘Punter of the Year‘ initiative – to recognise the best gambler in a calendar year – ‘obscene’ in a furious rant....
Betting on losers is hard and sometimes tests your faith, so I decided to sit in the middle of town and listen to the fanatical street...
Scutter Park’s general manager has blasted calls to abandon the waterlogged meeting as ‘wimpish bullsh*t’ While basking sharks are swimming upsides the grandstand windows, Scutter Park’s...
Scientists have created new headgear that ‘gees-up’ horses with Thrash Metal to run at supersonic speeds. New headgear can make horses gallop fast enough to break...
Scientists have developed a device that controls jockeys’ brain cells via a car stereo knob The wireless ‘Stereo Mind Patch’ allows a bookmaker to take control...
Follow the terrible week of South Africa’s most awful betting tipster, Edwin ‘Odds Wanker’ Gonzo – whose worst bets ever advised include this week’s last-placed second...
‘Explanation noted’ is stewards’ secret code for ‘we weren’t born yesterday mate’. Steward Keith Vim said: “Explanation noted really means ‘you’re a lying bastard’.” “Oik gambling...
Community activists have launched a campaign to help a shed-dwelling gambler who downsized 16 times and is now living in an abandoned riverside chalet Measures are...
Non-triers, runners taking wrong courses and swerving jockeys will make Virtual racing more realistic. Virtual racing is to become ‘a more realistic betting product’ by having...
A punter was totally baffled when a friendly betting shop staff member said “hello”. When unemployed dog punter Gareth Timms, 49, visited his local Mugbet betting...
New adverts NOT showing PPI, payday loans or funerals have caused meltdown among racing fans Gareth Timms’ blew a fuse over wholesome racing channel adverts that...
A failed gambler who played ‘punishment roulette’ with his bookmaker has walked free from court
Missing for three days, St Bernard Gareth Timms’ time-stamp machine was found in a ditch
Only Area 51 guards, aliens living on the complex and bookmakers will be privy to the hushed-up UK 'training races'.
Race horse Jimmy Jumpsuit has concluded that humans are ‘f*cking stupid’ Jimmy Jumpsuit, a 5yo bay gelding horse said: “Humans are stupid and angry.” “I’ve watched...
Jockey Alf Archer was sacked for not swerving into other riders, it has emerged. Finishing second, popular jockey Alf Archer was sacked as retained rider to...
Professional Layabout Ricky Tibbs gives practical advice for how to deal with losing runs. A lot of you have written in asking me how to deal...
Virtual racing results are actually determined by a man captured in 2003 and forced to press buttons all day in a floating booth in the North...
William Hill pundit celebrations after a race are definitely a good thing, a total idiot thinks William Hill TV pundits punching the air, brushing fluff off...
‘Winning money on horses is easy’ a total romancer has claimed. Romancer Gareth Timms, 41, from Hertfordshire says winning money is so easy that he can...
New rules for television hosts in betting shops will see female presenters wear a bikini and their male counterparts shirtless with a bow tie to reinvigorate...
A local ‘Samaritan’ has been banned from betting shops everywhere in the world for smashing up local emporiums in Exeter and Torquay. Banned from all betting...
Furious betting chiefs pulled the plug on racing last night after Scutter Park’s power failure left bookmaker logos unilluminated. Betting...
Millicent Archer will divorce her husband trainer Alf unless he refuses to sleep in bed sheets covered in Mugbet betting...
Mugbet blasts ‘old git’ who backed first ever winner by filling in quickslip wrong. Burt Jackson, 100, has annoyed the...
New discovery shows psychotic Biblical killer King Herod was in fact a bookmaker. New evidence unearthed by archaeologists at Scutter...
Instead of losing on beaten favourites, Boxing Day punters can pay trainers direct by chucking cash in a bucket. Trainers...
Bookmaking giant Mugbet has sacked TV pundit Gareth Timms for tipping TWO winners. 49-year-old horse racing pundit Gareth Timms was...
The BHA has recommended other industries follow suit on their policy of men waving flags at each other. Despite the...
Trainer and jockey caught with their bookmaker boss in steamy sex romp in back of HORSE BOX. A bookmaker whipped...
With an IQ of 160, race horse Jimmy Jumpsuit is officially brainier than his jockey and trainer combined The exclusive...
Bullsh*t warnings on trainers’ and jockeys’ betting blogs – such as ‘damage to finance’ and ‘may contain BS’ – do...
