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Talking Scutter

Trainer banned for giving horse Monster Munch Trainer banned for giving horse Monster Munch
Racecourses2 weeks ago

Trainer banned for giving horse Monster Munch

Failed dope test reveals horse’s addiction to pickled onion-flavoured snacks Trainer Alf Archer has been charged by Scutter Park stewards...

Bookmakers3 weeks ago

Bookmaker KILLED plane hijacker ‘DB Cooper’ when he won Forecast treble at Sittingbourne

‘DB Cooper cleaned up at Sittingbourne dogs so I pushed him out of plane’, says bookmaker. The 45-year-old mystery of...

Bookmakers share 97% DNA with Frilled Lizards Bookmakers share 97% DNA with Frilled Lizards
Bookmakers3 weeks ago

Bookmakers share 97% DNA with Frilled Lizards

Bookmakers need reclassifying as new species after latest research shows layers share 97% of their genetic material with FRILLED LIZARDS....

Tipsters4 weeks ago

Tipster claims ‘not being lynched by losers’ a ‘big WIN’

NOT being brutally murdered ‘a result’ thinks fake tipster. Self-styled betting ‘guru’ Benji Kirshtort, 46, thinks that NOT being lynched...

FOBTs unscathed after protestors blow up bookies with bazooka FOBTs unscathed after protestors blow up bookies with bazooka
FOBTs4 weeks ago

FOBTs unscathed after betting shop blown up with bazooka

Bookmakers praise ‘indestructible’ FOBTs after protestors accidentally blow up betting shop with rocket launcher Betting giant Mugbet breathed a sigh...

Betting1 month ago

Royal Ascot Bookmaker astonished by lack of Class 6 racing

Betting giant hits out at ‘Class 1 rubbish’ where everyone is trying Betting giant Mugbet has hit out at the...

‘Jockey a lying bastard’, horse says ‘Jockey a lying bastard’, horse says
Horses1 month ago

‘Jockey a lying bastard’, horse says

Horse says jockey ‘full of sh*t’ after rider claims swerving into rivals was ‘horse’s fault’. Racehorse Jimmy Jumpsuit has hit...

Punters1 month ago

Gambling Helpline puzzled after idiot rings up for tips

Punter who backed 3000 consecutive losers demands Gambling Helpline tell him what will win Class 1 Handicap   After a diabolical...

MI5 thank bookmakers for spy training MI5 thank bookmakers for spy training
Bookmakers1 month ago

MI5 thanks Bookmakers for spy training

Spooks praise bookmakers who know about every horse in every yard before anyone else Intelligence officers at MI5 and MI6...

Loose horse no match for idiot flailing arms Loose horse no match for idiot flailing arms
Racecourses1 month ago

Loose horse no match for idiot flailing arms

Total idiot wrongly believes he’s mastered the art of stopping a loose horse at racecourse. No UK race meeting would...

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